Spare Parts
by Andrew Joshua Talon
Summary: Evangelion ideas, snippets, and other unfinished bits for your entertainment and perusal. Enjoy!
1. Indiana Ikari and the Fortress of NERV

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. So, to kick off the Evangelion edition of my "unfinished showcase", here's an idea I had with the opening of the fourth _Indiana Jones_ movie._

- - - - - - - - -

_University of Chicago, Illinois. 2015_

The dark lecture hall seldom saw visitors after the end of the day's classes. Few night classes were big enough to warrant it.

It was precisely this reason the dean of the University of Chicago had elected to use it as a meeting place. Across from him sat two United States Army officers, like teachers ready for a presentation. The Dean looked up at the clock ticking away, and repressed a sigh.

"He will be here soon, I assure you," the Dean said. The taller of the officers nodded.

"We have heard he's worth the wait," he replied. The Dean tried to suppress a smirk at that.

"Yes, well... Opinions vary."

The doors to the lecture hall opened, and through it stepped a tall, black-haired young man, a pair of round glasses perched on his nose. He was dressed in a decidedly ugly tweed suit, and carried a few heavy volumes. Both officers stood up along with the Dean.

"Ah, Shinji... Thank you for coming," he said with a smile. The young man smiled back and approached.

"This is Colonel Danvers and Major Thomas, United States Army Intelligence," the Dean introduced their guests. The colonel reached forward and shook the young man's hand, and was surprised at his firm grip.

"You must be Shinji Ikari," the colonel guessed, as Shinji shook Thomas' hand. Shinji nodded.

"That's me..."

"One of the youngest to receive a degree in anthropology in this University's history," the Dean said proudly.

"Well, I had a lot of help, and worked hard," Shinji said modestly. "My uncle gave me the shot I needed."

"That's not the only reason you're rather famous, Mr. Ikari," Danvers said with a small smile. Shinji blinked, looking utterly innocent.

"Mr. Ikari, there's no need to keep up appearances here," the major soothed.

"I've taken the usual precautions, Shinji. No need to worry," the Dean added. Shinji sighed, and put the books down. He sat on the edge of a desk and looked intently at the Army officers, keen eyes measuring them both. For a time he almost resembled a tiger about to pounce, cold blue eyes predatory and calculating, before he relaxed and the humble school teacher reappeared.

"I find it hard to believe that the US government would find my... Expeditions of significant value," Shinji said. The Colonel opened his briefcase, pulled out a folder, and set it on the table.

"Believe me, Mr. Ikari, your expeditions have been of great interest to the US government, especially in light of the UN blackout of information related to the Katsuragi expedition. Can you tell me," Danvers said, opening the folder, "what these are?"

Shinji picked up the folder and flipped through a series of photographs. He frowned at the images of scientists in arctic clothing maneuvering a massive two-pronged spear into position in front of a gigantic humanoid.

"... Looks like..." He flipped to another image, eyes widening slightly. GEHRIN could be seen in the background of one on a crate.

The ice, the giant humanoid...

"The Katsuragi Expedition... To the South Pole?" Shinji asked. "Where did you get these?"

"One of our satellites managed to pick up a low band data transmission and record some of it just before Second Impact occurred," Thomas stated. "In the resulting chaos it took us years before we could get a shuttle up there to retrieve it's data. It's communications system was shot."

Shinji continued looking through the images, frowning at a few lines of text on a computer. The next photo digitally enhanced it.

"This looks like Hebrew... Dead Seas Scrolls... First lines of the so-called War Scroll," Shinji surmised. He looked up at the two officers and frowned.

"To be honest, I fail to see what this has to do with me..."

"The past fifteen years has seen the United Nations, and GEHRIN, now NERV, confiscating a variety of ancient artifacts dated to the first, second and third centuries AD, and the Dead Sea Scrolls among them," Danvers said. "In addition, NERV has been receiving massive monetary and military aid from Japan." He pointed at the folder.

"The purpose being to construct or create creatures or mechanical monsters to combat the so-called Angels."

"Yes... Gods in this context seem to refer to 'messengers', angels in other words." Shinji paused. "You mean to tell me that GEHRIN... Set off Second Impact?"

"Possibly, possibly not, we don't know," Thomas admitted. "All we do know is that they seem to be expecting more of these things, and they're building these constructs to fight them."

"Why hasn't the US government interrogated NERV about this?" Shinji asked. Danvers sighed.

"In addition to essentially making our military their peacekeeping and conquest force, the Valentine Treaty has made NERV an entirely independent organization, outside of anyone's jurisdiction," Danvers answered, a hint of bitterness in his tone. "In addition, the past administrations have been supported by NERV's backers."

"So the government's in their pocket," Shinji stated. He sighed. "So... You think that because my father, the head of NERV, sent me a letter simply reading 'Come' yesterday means that I might be able to figure some of this stuff out? Become your inside man?"

Danvers smirked, while Thomas just blinked in mild disbelief.

"You don't miss a trick, Mr. Ikari," the colonel complimented. Shinji shrugged and smiled slightly.

"To be honest, I was considering just telling him to piss off. He abandoned me. Uncle Indy found me and brought me to America, raising me as his son. I don't feel I particularly owe that bastard who claims to be my father anything."

Shinji set the file down on the table and frowned thoughtfully. The officers waited.

"... But, Uncle Indy taught me more than just anthropology," Shinji said. "And whatever's going on... I want to know what it is. Hell, recovering this," Shinji pointed to the photo of the giant humanoid and the red lance, "either of them? They'd put anything I've found before to shame. So... When do I leave?"

- - - -

Captain Misato Katsuragi had to admit-Shinji Ikari wasn't quite what she expected. She'd heard only a little about him-Child prodigy, already had a college degree-and accordingly had thought she was going to be picking up some skinny kid in dorky glasses.

The tall, handsome young man with an old fedora, leather jacket, and bullwhip at his belt? Not even in her top 100 ideas of what he would be like.

When she'd screamed for him to run to her car as the Angel attacked, he'd run and dove like you were taught to in basic training to avoid fire. When the N2 mine was dropped, _he_ covered her first. And he had no issues with helping her fix her car.

"Welcome to NERV," she said grandly, as the car trolley toted them down through the Geofront. Shinji grinned, eyes eagerly eating everything up.

"Wow! It resembles some ancient Mesopotamian underground cities! Granted, they were short lived and generally used only during wet seasons but still! The dimensions are a lot bigger but the basic idea... It looks like a caldera, though the basalt deposits look..."

Misato blinked in disbelief, and then slowly nodded.

"Uh... Sure..."

- - - -

"This is Man's ultimate fighting machine: the synthetic life-form known as Evangelion Unit 01. Built here in secret, it is Mankind's last hope," Dr. Ritsuko Akagi stated. Misato looked over at Shinji, expecting him to make an intellectual comment about the mecha before him.

"... It's purple."

"... Yes, it is," Ritsuko deadpanned.

"So, I'm here to... What?" Shinji asked, scratching his head underneath his fedora.

"Pilot it," Ritsuko supplied.

"That is correct!" Boomed a voice from above. Shinji looked up, seeing his father standing in a glass observation chamber, looking down at them with what might be called a small smirk.

"It's been a long time," Gendo Ikari stated. Shinji snorted and then spat.

"Not long enough," Shinji shot back. Gendo's eyebrows rose and Shinji fought a smirk. Uncle Indy had kept his promise-Aside from what he was doing, his father didn't know squat about what he'd be like.

_Perfect._

- - -

Shinji had tried to play for time, see what he could get from his father as the Angel ("Messenger" would be a more accurate translation) continued to attack. Instead, he'd decided to blackmail him into piloting by pulling out an injured girl.

As the room shook again and parts of the ceiling began to fall, Shinji spotted a large chunk headed for the injured girl.

"LOOK OUT-!" Misato shouted, but the warning was unneeded. A crack of leather rang out in the room and the girl's gurney was yanked towards Shinji, narrowly avoiding the deadly wreckage.

Shinji, however, tripped and fell on top of Rei in the gurney, causing the girl to cry out.

"Sorry! Sorry!" Shinji shouted, tumbling out of the gurney with the girl landing on top of him. He winced.

"Ow..."

"Shinji! Shinji, are you okay?" Misato shouted, rushing over to the two teenagers. Shinji blushed, and then looked up at the cringing Rei.

"We'll have to try this again some time," he murmured, gently handing her to Misato. He stood up and glared right at Gendo.

"I'm piloting."

Gendo smirked...

"But if I don't get paid, kiss your balls goodbye," Shinji growled, emphasizing this statement with a crack of his whip.

The wince Gendo suffered at this made Shinji wonder just what it was about whips that...

"Oh God," Shinji mumbled. "Bad thoughts, _bad thoughts!_"

- - - -

The battle had been going great... For the Angel, at least.

For one thing, Shinji hadn't the slightest idea what the hell an AT field was. He'd made a bright red flashy beam thing a few times, but other than that, nothing.

For another? He sucked with knives. Uncle Indy had taught him what he could but Shinji had naturally taken to the whip. It was his favorite and most useful weapon/tool.

Hence, he'd decided to just throw the useless Prog Knife at the Angel as hard as he could. Predictably, this did nothing.

"Damnit!" He shouted as he narrowly dodged another blast from the Angel. Angels. He was _really_ beginning to hate Angels...

Another shot, and the lights in the foul-tasting entry plug turned red.

"Wh-What the hell just happened?" Shinji shouted over the radio.

_"Your umbilical cord was just shot off! You have five minutes of power left!_" A very nice technician girl shouted back. Shinji growled.

_"We're ejecting it! Try to get to another power station-!_" Shinji had to duck another blast from the Angel, and a loud explosion of bolts launched the plug of the cord out onto the street. Shinji paused and took a good look at the umbilical cord. He grabbed the large handle on top of the plug, and as he rushed away from another shot from the Angel he whipped it around experimentally.

"_Shinji, what the hell are you doing?! Get back and fight! This is no time to be playing games!_" Misato shouted. Shinji ignored her.

_Hmmm... It'll have to do... Okay, AT Field... Flashy Thing... GO!_

With this thought, Shinji managed to unleash another AT Field burst, which neutralized the Angel's. At the same time, he swung his improvised whip at the Angel's legs, entangling them just as he'd seen his Uncle Indy do (and he had done) dozens of times. He yanked with all of his strength, and the Angel lost it's footing, falling to the street with a massive crash.

Before it would recover, Shinji rushed the Angel, grabbing the discarded Prog Knife and slamming it into the first important-looking thing he could reach-A large red sphere.

_KABOOOOMMM!_

Thrown back by the force of the explosion, Shinji groaned and slumped back on the ground, the Eva copying his actions.

"Note to self... Don't do that again..."

- - - -  
_  
For the purposes of this story concept, Indiana Jones would have been made immortal by drinking from the Holy Grail, and just happened to be passing through Japan when Shinji was abandoned. He decided to take the kid in and take him to America, where Shinji, in the proper learning environment, took after his uncle and got himself a doctorate in anthropology by the age of 15 (He's teaching his first semester at the time of this story)._

_His Uncle has vanished, giving Shinji more reason to infiltrate NERV given that Dr. Jones was investigating Dead Sea Scroll-related relics. He has taken on the attire of his mentor and guardian to honor him... And because it's just really cool._

_Can Shinji Ikari find and save Indiana Jones? And together, can they save the world? _


	2. Vaguely Asuka

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. _

_Asuka Langley Soryu. She's been a bitch, a bigger bitch, a sexually repressed bitch... You get the idea. But, what if something happened during her childhood besides the death of her mother to make her, well... More mellow?_

- - - - -

The rotors of the landed helicopter blew up considerable turbulence, and Toji's hat was quickly blown off his head.

"HEY! COME BACK!" Toji shouted uselessly at the cap, and chased after it as fast as he could. He'd bought it to impress Misato! What kind of a man would he be if he lost it?!

The hat stopped at last, and Toji reached to pick it up. He stood up and sighed, pulling the hat back on. He turned around... Only to squeal like a little girl at the sudden appearance of a teenaged girl with long red hair and a yellow sundress.

"GYAAH!"

"Hello!" Asuka said brightly. "I'm Asuka Langley Soryu! Who are you?"

"Uh, Toji..." The jock smiled. Hey, a cute girl on this trip? This is looking better and better!

"Nice to meet you!" Asuka said cheerfully. "Are you the Third Child?"

"Uh, no," Toji said. He pointed over Asuka's shoulder. "That would be him."

Asuka slowly turned around and stared at Misato and Shinji, the Third Child smiling nervously. Behind them, Kensuke was energetically filming everything.

"Hello Asuka! You've grown a lot!" Misato greeted. Asuka blinked and slowly tilted her head. Her eyes focused on an area just above Misato's shoulder, which the NERV tactical ops officer followed, frowning.

"You know, I think I have... Mmhm, I'm bigger," Asuka said vaguely. She wandered over to Shinji and smiled.

"You've grown too, right? Since I last saw you?"

"Since we last met...?" Shinji asked vaguely.

"We've met before? When! I want to know and-Ooh! A seagull! This far out? Wow!" Asuka chirped happily. The white bird arched over the flight deck, and Asuka happily ran after it. Shinji's eyes widened as he saw she was headed right for the edge of the deck, and ran after her.

"H-HEY! WAIT!"

Asuka giggled, reaching for the bird one step too far. Her eyes widened as though she was completely surprised to be on the edge of the flight deck.

"W-W-WOAH-!"

Shinji yanked the redheaded girl back on deck, both falling down. Shinji panted hard, before realizing Asuka was sitting on his lap. He blushed bright red and scooted away.

"Uh, S-Sorry! I mean-!"

"Awww," Asuka sighed. "The bird got away! Kind of like a cloud... Hey, what do you think?"

"... About?" Shinji hazarded. Asuka frowned.

"About clouds. Do you think birds fly through them and don't have any problems?"

"Uh... I... Guess?" Shinji answered, as Misato and Kensuke helped them up to their feet. Asuka blinked, eyes once more staring somewhere over Shinji's shoulder.

"Because clouds are very cold and wet. Do you think the birds would freeze? I mean, all they've got is their feathers..."

"Uh, Asuka, why don't we go inside so I can make my report to the Admiral?" Misato suggested, smiling nervously. Asuka didn't notice and just beamed.

"Sure! Maybe he knows something about birds and clouds, seeing that he's an admiral and all..."

"Toji, Kensuke, go with her? I'll be along soon," Misato ordered. The two boys, only too happy to escort a cute girl at the command of Shinji's sexy guardian, led the babbling Asuka towards the island. She sighed, and looked over at Shinji, who was staring in disbelief at her.

"... _That's_ the Second Child?"

"Yes. Yes she is," Misato sighed.

"... Do I want to know what happened to her?" Shinji asked again. Misato coughed.

"Um... Probably not..."

- - - - - -

The 15th Angel had been attacking Unit 02 for ten minutes now. Communications had been lost, and while Asuka's mind seemed normal (for her, anyway), the silence was troubling.

Finally, Gendo had had enough. "Rei, get the Lance. Destroy the Angel."

"Yes Commander," Rei responded, descending to Terminal Dogma. While she did, however, a giggle could be heard over the radio.

_"Heehee! No way! Are you kidding? Wow!_"

"Asuka! Are you okay?!" Shinji shouted over the radio. Asuka giggled again.

_"Yep!"_

"ASUKA! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Misato demanded.

_"I've just been talking with Arael here-"_

"ARAEL?! YOU'RE TALKING TO THE ANGEL?!"

_"Uh huh! She has lots of interesting stories! Like this one time, she appeared naked to a group of Islamic crusaders, and they-!"_

"ASUKA!" Misato bellowed. Asuka blinked.

_"But it's a really great story and I'm sure you'd like it-!_"

"WOULD YOU JUST FIRE AND DESTROY THE ANGEL ALREADY?!" Gendo roared, his cool at last lost. Asuka eeped and nodded on the holoscreen.

_"Right Commander! Sorry about this, Arael..._"

_Think nothing of it... I'll be back,_ 'said' a melodious, telepathic voice over everyone else's minds. With that, Asuka fired her positron cannon and destroyed the Angel with a single shot.

_"That was fun!_"

_- - - - - -  
_

_An Asuka who takes after Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. Maybe she hit her head, maybe she's on drugs, maybe her mother's soul inside her Eva did it to her-Whatever the reason, she's easily distracted and her mind wanders in obscure and oblique ways._

_And Shinji and Rei have to work with a girl who would just as happily run through the rain naked as chase a butterfly in her Eva._

_This… Will not end well._


	3. Secured Habitation District

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. _

_This idea is inspired by a scifi movie to be coming out soon. You can probably guess which one._

- - - - - - - -

Shinji Ikari hadn't known just what he was getting into when he'd answered his father's letter-He just wanted to reunite with him. Maybe they could be a family again.

But this... This, he didn't know what to make of.

"I'm sorry Shinji, the main transit systems are down," she apologized. "We'll have to go in the other way."

"Other way?" Shinji asked.

The Renault turned down what appeared to be a service road, away from what he could only assume was Tokyo-3's downtown area. As they travelled along, the road dipped, heading towards a tunnel entrance. It was marked by a guardhouse and protected by a steel link fence, barbed wire running over the top of it. The tunnel entrance itself was dark and ominous, and even the orange lighting peeking out from it didn't improve it's disposition.

Misato showed her id to a computer scanner in the empty guardhouse, and the gate opened. She drove into the tunnel, a number of high-security doors made of high-grade steel opening at further checkpoints, her ID badge and retina scan allowing them through most of them.

"Gah... I hate this security," Misato mumbled.

"Why does this tunnel have it then?" Shinji asked. Misato turned and gave him a grave look.

"To keep them from getting out," she said simply. Shinji blinked and was about to ask _who_ she was talking about (or what), when the final security door opened, and sunlight shined through the windshield. Shinji squinted a bit as his eyes adjusted. Two figures emerged, set against a backdrop of a huge internal landscape. Shinji's jaw dropped as he stared ahead of the two armored soldiers.

"_Captain Katsuragi, you are cleared to enter,_" one of the soldiers said, after examining her ID badge. _"Fastest way is through District 4."_

"I know," Misato said grimly. Once the barricade was lifted, Misato drove forward into the massive cavern. Shinji looked up in awe through the windows, seeing the huge roof of earth above them.

"It's really a Geofront," he said.

"Yeah," Misato said flatly. Shinji lowered his gaze and looked ahead. A huge walled "fortress" lay ahead, one of it's gates the destination of the road. The walls seemed to stretch across a third of the grassland area of the Geofront, in view of a giant pyramid. Security towers lined the wall, heavily armored soldiers with machine guns and searchlights stationed at every one.

"What... What is this place?" Shinji wondered, as the Renault came to a halt outside the main gate.

"It's the Secured Habitation District," Misato said, as the guards on this gate opened it up. She glared ahead as she stepped on the gas, the sports car trundling through the armored doors.

And seemingly into an entirely different world.

Outside, it was pristine grass and wooded areas as far as the eye could see. Within the walls... Shinji had read about third world countries, but he'd never actually been to one. He wondered if he'd just stepped into a nightmare.

Crudely built homes of concrete or welded-together metal lined the road. Armed soldiers patrolled dirt streets, littered with trash. And everywhere, he saw them.

They looked at him as the car passed, through bizarre bony masks, with glowing red eyes. Some were hulking creatures, almost three meters tall, while others were slim, almost skeletal, almost human but... No hair, slitted noses, four eyes... All wearing a bracelet of some sort.

There were smaller versions of the creatures, what Shinji presumed to be children, that seemed to be playing, but fell silent once the car rolled within range. A crystalline-shaped creature, wearing a pink dress that seemed comically out of place, looked at him directly as they went by.

"What... What is...?" Shinji tried, staring in a mix of horror and wonder. Misato's expression was dark.

"They're Angels," she spat. "And their big brother is coming here..."

Shinji's eyes widened as he caught sight of a girl among the crowds of creatures, pale, red eyed and blue haired. She stared at him... And then she was gone.

_What have I gotten myself into?_ Shinji thought, as the Renault rolled on towards Central Dogma in the distance.

- - - - - - - - - - -

Second Impact didn't just bring one Angel to life-It woke up more. A _lot_ more. An entire race of beings descended from the bigger Adam-descended lifeforms, more like humans in some ways. They were contained in the remnants of the Antarctic continent, before Yui Ikari devised a control collar that neutralized their super human abilities. Later, they were brought to Tokyo-3 and housed in an area known as the "Secured Habitation District" within the Geofront-Little better than a concentration camp.

While they have attempted to keep it a secret, news has leaked out, and the Angels are regarded as "refugees" by some nations of the world, while others feel they are captured combatants. And so they stay within NERV's control, SEELE's own feelings on the matter that they may yet prove useful to their plans.

Yes, inspired by the premise behind _District 9_. I bring it here to see what you guys can do with it.


	4. Indiana Ikari and the Teaching Job

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. _

_Another bit for _Indiana Ikari and the Fortess of NERV._  
_

- - - - - - -

The muttering of the class was audible through the door. Shinji shook his head in mild bemusement as he listened in to what was being said.

"What do you think our new teacher'll be like?"

"Anyone better than that old fossil..."

"I've heard he's some sort of child prodigy! Only 15!"

"No way! Someone our age teaching?!"

"I heard he's the pilot of that giant robot!"

"WHAT?! If he is, I'm going to kick his ass!"

Shinji sighed. Better to face the music and take charge immediately.

He stepped in with a cheerful smile.

"Hello everyone! Please take your seats," Shinji said brightly. He didn't look at his students and simply wrote his name on the board.

"I am Mister Ikari, I'll be your teacher," Shinji said, turning around and adjusting his glasses. "Does anyone have any questions?"

Nearly every hand went up, as did several students.

"Are you the pilot of the giant robot?"

"Do you really have a doctorate?"

"Are you single?"

"Can I have your autograph?"

Shinji sweatdropped as the students began to close in. "Uh... Yes. No. Yes. And... HEY! QUIET DOWN!" Shinji shouted. "Back to your seats!"

"Do as he says!"

Shinji looked gratefully over at a freckled girl in pigtails, who stepped in with a formidable glare. The students returned to their seats, a tall jock in jogging sweats in particular deathglaring at him, while several girls gave him lovestruck looks. The freckled girl nodded and turned to Shinji with a smile.

"Hello, I'm Horaki Hikari, the class rep. I'm sorry about that. Our class doesn't seem to have a lot of _manners_," Hikari emphasized this statement with a lethal glare at the class. Shinji mentally whistled-This girl was the type not to mess around. Good.

"Thank you Horaki. Good work," Shinji said with a smile. Hikari nodded, smiling brightly back, and then sat back down in her seat. Shinji cleared his throat and looked out at the class, before looking over the assigned textbook. He hid his grimace at the poor state of the text before looking back at the class.

"Well, it seems that you've been learning about Second Impact... Over and over again. So instead, we're going to be focusing on current events and the history and politics behind them," Shinji continued. He turned to the board and wrote down a number of items, including "energy shortages".

"Now, first things first: You, uh... Suzuhara," Shinji said, pointing at the glaring jock, "what does your textbook say the primary reason for the high prices of gasoline?"

Toji snorted, but read the required passage.

"Because the oil companies continue to... Demand the same amount of money despite not having the... Same refinement... infrastructure from before Second impact."

Shinji nodded. "All right. So, to summarize, the oil companies are greedy and making up for lost revenue, correct?"

The class nodded. Shinji smiled.

"Now, what sources does it cite for this?"

"Uh..." Toji thumbed for the page of sources, looking through them and scowling. "Tokyo Post, Shirakawa Political Think Tank..."

Toji slowly read the rest of the sources, and Shinji nodded.

"All right, and what are some of things these sources all have in common? Anyone?"

"All Japanese?"

"Uh... All in the textbook?"

Shinji smiled. "Those are true, but there should be something else. Something missing. A few things, in fact." Shinji leaned back against his desk.

"This deals with money, the economy, business. What would you expect to be cited then?"

A glasses-wearing boy with a camera raised his hand. "Um, an economist?"

Shinji nodded with a smile. "Yes, very good... Aida," he said, after checking his roster. "No citations from an economist, or an economic magazine. What else?"

"No sources from the oil companies?" A brown haired-girl ask. Shinji nodded.

"Yes, and why would that be important?"

"So we could see both sides of the issue," the girl replied. Shinji smiled and looked over at the rest of the class.

"Precisely. To summarize, we have a chapter about the problems of energy in the post-2I world that has lots of information from government think tanks and newspapers, but not by the oil companies themselves or economists. In other words, they only cite the sources of people who are outsiders to the actual problems and issues involved in the economy and energy production."

"So, they're wrong?" Aida asked. Shinji hummed.

"Well, they could be wrong, they could be right. The problem is that this issue is only being shown from one side, without being shown from the other side's point of view as well."

"So they only show us this one side?" the brown haired girl (Kirishima, according to the roster) asked. Shinji nodded.

"But why would they want to only show you one side?" Shinji asked aloud. He picked out Rei in the background.

"Ayanami?"

The injured girl slowly turned to Shinji , blinking her one eye. Shinji smiled.

"C'mon Ayanami, it's all right. Just give it your best shot," he encouraged. Rei blinked again.

"... Because it is the view the writers wished the student to have," she said simply. Shinji nodded.

"Exactly. Very good, Ayanami."

There were some curious looks and mutterings among the students. Ayanami, answering a question? Asked by the new teacher, no less?

Shinji smirked. So Rei could enter the discussion, huh? He didn't know why, exactly, but he was happy.

"Now, let's move on to..."

- - - - - -

Shinji sighed as he followed Suzuhara and Aida. He didn't know why Toji had wanted to see him, but his instincts told him it couldn't be anything good.

They stopped behind the school, and Suzuhara spun around, glaring angrily at Shinji. The teacher stared evenly back.

"This isn't anything personal-" Toji stated, as he raised his fist.

"Forgive me for doubting that," Shinji replied evenly. He blocked Toji's first punch, stepping to his side as the jock lunged for him.

"Damnit-! Hold still!" Toji barked, continuing his swings and punches. Shinji continued to block them and move about, forcing Toji to become angrier and angrier.

"You son of a-!"

_POW!_ Toji fell back, clutching his suddenly bloody nose as he hit the ground. Shinji walked over to look down on him, even as Kensuke, astonished, kept filming.

"Now, what's this about?" Shinji asked. Toji scowled.

"My sister got injured when you were prancing about in your damn giant robot! How the hell is she going to grow up to be a babe when she's as badly injured as she is! She might never walk again!"

Shinji frowned. "I didn't mean for that to happen... I really didn't. But it was either pilot the thing, and face the possibility of accidentally hurting, maybe even killing, innocent people... Or let the monster kill everyone." He looked pointedly at Toji.

"What would you choose?"

Toji stared back. The eyes of his teacher were strange now, darker. No hint of congeniality in them now.

His response was cut short by the soft voice of Rei Ayanami.

"Pilot Ikari... We must report to NERV. Another Angel has been sighted," she stated. Shinji nodded and sighed, looking at Toji in regret.

"I'm sorry about your sister..." With that, he ran off after Ayanami, leaving Toji to struggle back up, still glaring after him.

"Smart Toji, real smart," Kensuke sighed. "Assaulting a teacher _and_ the pilot of the Eva?"

"Shut up Kensuke," Toji growled.

- - - - - -

_R&R, please._


	5. Prophet of God

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. _

_This is what happens when you read the Bible and then watch Evangelion 1.0 and Prince of Egypt back to back._

_After the battle with Leliel, as Shinji sleeps, a drunken Misato does something she hasn't done for years-Pray. She prays to God, desperately, hopelessly pouring her heart out for Shinji, begging someone, something to help Shinji through this, to help him win, to give him peace._

_And God, who historically has a very different definition of timeliness than us (jerk), decides to answer her prayers. _

* * *

"Shinji. Hey, Shinji!"

Shinji blinked and he stared at Pen-Pen. "Uh... I... Huh?" He looked around. Someone cleared their throat, and he looked back at Pen-Pen.

"Hello Shinji."

"... Uh... Hi?" Shinji squeaked. _Oh God the penguin is talking... I've really gone off the deep end._

"No you haven't Shinji," Penpen stated.

"AH! YOU CAN READ MY MIND?" Shinji cried. Penpen nodded.

"Of course I can. I'm God."

"You... You're God?" Shinji asked. "But... No way... I-I'm going nuts! It's the only explanation! I'm-!"

"YOU. ARE. NOT. NUTS." Penpen stated flatly, as everything in the kitchen floated-Including Shinji. Shinji waved his arms frantically in the air for a few moments, panicking, before he felt a kind of comfort and warmth come over him. Light filled his eyes, and a sense of wonder entered his heart as divine light washed over him.

"Better?" Penpen... GOD asked.

"Ah... Well... The floating's nice," Shinji admitted.

"Yeah, it is," God confirmed. Shinji was set down, as was everything else. Shinji looked back at Penpen.

"Uh... So... Um... God. What do you want with me?"

"It's simple Shinji," Penpen stated. "You are going to bring peace between Angel and Man. You will end this war."

"Uh... But... Aren't I already doing that?" Shinji asked.

"No. You are merely part of your parents' plan to bring about Third Impact," Penpen stated. Shinji's eyes bugged out.

"Huh? But how? What? What am I-?"

"I will explain. But the important thing is that you will be my voice, and execute my will... And in doing so, you will save both races," God continued. "I tire of my children warring... So you will end it."

"How?" Shinji asked.

Penpen fixed him with a focused look. "By convincing your father to end it."

Shinji got the sudden, sinking feeling that he was doomed. It was familiar though so it was slightly more comfortable than the Almighty talking to him through an alcoholic penguin.

"You should also get married. A couple of wives will do you a world of good and them the same. After all, I DID decree you should be fruitful and multiply, so get going! It's just basic math!"

Very, very doomed.

* * *

Yes, Shinji is God's new Prophet, Emissary, Messiah, etc. He's going to work miracles and try to end the Angel Wars without either side being wiped out. Real Old Testament, wrath of God type stuff-Which Shinji has a lot of trouble with controlling at first.

"Ah, Misato-san, I kind of turned all the water in the city to blood..."

"Oh God! What about the booze?"

"Er... That too..."

"Well, is the drinking water at least cle-Oh damnit..."

"Yeah, hang on, maybe I can fix that... There! Oh man! It's still red!"

"Mmm... Yes... But... It's wine now..."

"I'll just have to keep trying-"

"No, no, this is fine for now!"

The main focus of the story, of course, is Shinji trying to convince his father to let Adam go and end his plans for Third Impact. Even with the power of God, Gendo is not going to be moved easily. And then there's Yui herself, SEELE...

Overall this idea will work best as humor, from SHinji's misadventures with his new powers, to God's efforts to get Shinji to "do some serious mathematics", to Shinji's relationships with everyone else and his attempts at diplomacy with the Angels. Don't take it seriously and go wild with it.

* * *

_ Half the fun is in Gendo's reactions to the various plagues and miracles._

* * *

Darkness. Darkness so complete, so absolute, Shinji could not see his own hand in front of his face. Well, not until he rapped his staff against the floor. From the tip, light appeared, illuminating the frightened faces of the NERV command staff.

"It's-It's okay," Shinji said. "It's a blackout."

"How long is it going to last? What if an Angel attacks?" Maya urgently inquired. Shinji shook his head.

"No Angels are going to come while the blackout lasts. Now... I need to go see my father. Again." He reached out and plucked a bit of light from the top of his staff, and handed it to Aoba, who took it reluctantly. "You can lead everyone out, Aoba. Just pull light off that bit I gave you and everyone can leave. So please... Leave."

Aoba looked at Shinji. "You swear... No Angels will attack while this is going on, right?"

"I swear by God... He does it all the time," Shinji said. Aoba nodded and looked over to the rest of the command staff.

"Let's go people!"

Shinji turned and walked off. By now, he knew the way to his father's office by heart.

The elevators and the tram worked for him, bringing him to the floor of his father's office in no time. He walked up to the office and opened it, entering.

Gendo sat at his desk, writing out furious notes, a single candle fluttering in the vast darkness of the office. Gendo looked up, his expression stony, but Shinji caught a flash of anger before the cold indifference swallowed it back up.

"You will cease this nonsense, Third," Gendo said flatly. "You will stop this at once or I will have you replaced."

Shinji stared at his father for a while. "Father... Why do you keep making empty threats?" He asked.

"They are not empty. I am the one with power here," Gendo stated coldly. "And your little tricks cannot help you, or help us. You will cease this immediately or I _will_ have you replaced."

Shinji stared for a moment longer, and then slowly nodded. He held out his hand, and the candle was snuffed, plunging the office back into darkness.

"You'll have to find me first, Father," Shinji said softly, before turning and leaving. Gendo waited, and then pulled a lighter out of the desk, flicking it on and reapplying it to the candle... Which guttered out again.

Gendo gritted his teeth. It was going to be a long night...

* * *

Touji yawned and stretched as the doorbell rang. Plodding in socks and pajamas, he walked to the door and opened it. He blinked, clearing his eyes of sleep.

"Ayanami?"

Rei Ayanami stood there, dressed in a very nice white sundress. With the morning sun shining through the city, it made her look divine.

"Hello Suzuhara-san," she said, a cross around her neck. She held a Bible to her chest. "Have you considered taking the word of Shinji Ikari into your life?"

"Shinji? Don't you mean Jesus Christ?"

"No."

"So... What? Shinji's the Messiah now?"

"No. He already came. Shinji is the Emissary of God. You understand?"

Touji blinked. He blinked again. He rubbed his eyes. Rei was still there when he finished.

"... No, but why don't you come inside and talk about it?" Touji asked. Rei nodded.

"Certainly."

* * *

"What do you MEAN you and Touji have to get married?" Misato demanded. "What did he..." At Rei's blush, Misato sighed. "Nevermind..."


	6. Prophet of God: Zeruel

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note: _Man, it has occurred to me that I have a LOT of story snippets and concepts laying around. Things I've never been able to figure out how to get working. But! Maybe you guys can. _

_Another bit for "Prophet of God"._

* * *

The 14th Angel was called Zeruel, the Angel of Might. And it was pretty obvious how it had obtained that name. The Angel had blown through all 14 levels of armor above the Geofront with ease, had taken a full barrage from Unit 02 and then calmly dispatched the red biomech, and had survived a full-on N2 mine blast from Unit 00 without so much as a scratch.

As the giant Angel loomed out of the clearing smoke, Lt. Shigeru Aoba's console beeped. His eyes widened.

"Uh, Major?"

"Damnit, I want him FOUND! Find me Shinji now or we're all dead!" Misato bellowed into the phone. "I don't care where-!"

"MAJOR!"

"What?" Misato demanded, her fear and concern for her ward evident on her face as she looked at her subordinate. Aoba gulped.

"I found the Third."

"Where?"

Aoba pointed at one of the holoscreens showing the desolation outside. Through the smoke, a small figure with a staff and a dull red robe walked up towards the 14th Angel.

Misato didn't know how far her jaw had dropped, but she was pretty sure it had hit the floor due to how much of a shock went through her when she closed her mouth.

"What the hell is he doing?" Cried someone. It took her a moment to realize it was her voice, sounding so frightened and desperate. Ritsuko was in pretty much the same state.

Above her, Gendo was holding his face in his palms. Fuyutsuki sighed, patted him on the shoulder... And decided that, since they were going to die...

"I told you so, Ikari."

* * *

Unit 02, in another timeline, would have been decapitated and left for dead. Here, Zeruel had still whaled on the red Evangelion but left it's head atop it's shoulders. Smashed, cracked, and with brains oozing out of it's skull, but still able to see. That probably made it worse.

Defeated... Again... Asuka pounded the controls of her Eva, screaming her rage into the LCL. Nobody could hear her, after all.

_"Asuka! Asuka, stop screaming and listen! Can you move at all?_"

Okay, maybe they could. Asuka looked up and snarled at the sound of Misato's voice.

"Yes, but why bother? I can't hurt that damn thing! What am I supposed to do, bite it's-"

_"Shinji's approaching the Angel, he needs your help!"_

Asuka huffed. Of _course_ he was.

"What the hell kind of help does Jesus Boy need from me? He's got _his_ Eva, he's-"

_"He's not in his Eva._"

Asuka blinked. "... I... What?"

_"He. IS NOT. IN. HIS. EVA."_ Misato said in loud, clear words. Asuka felt herself go numb.

"He... He's..."

_"Yes."_

Unit 02 reactivated. Asuka focused the damaged biomech's vision on Zeruel, some distance away due to how hard it had hit Unit 02. There he was, wearing that stupid robe, holding that stupid staff, walking right up to the Angel.

Calling him an idiot went out the window of her mind, disparaging him, all of that flew out. All that was left was panic and feelings she would never let herself really admit.

She could see Unit 00 trying to move nearby. Rei had seen it too. Seen _him_.

The Angel of Might turned it's gaze upon the tiny human walking up to it. Shinji stopped, and looked up. He said something-Asuka was too far away to make out what.

"Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move," Asuka whispered desperately. The biomech staggered, stumbling, trying to get there. "MOVE. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE. MOVE."

Unit 00 moved just as slowly, but with the same desperation evident in it's intent. Asuka threw everything she had into it, running. She had to save him, nothing else mattered now, she couldn't let him die.

"_MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!_" She shrieked.

The angel's eyes flashed, and the ground around Shinji exploded. Unit 02 fell onto it's face thanks to the tremors the blast caused in the ground. It hurt like hell.

_"SHINNNNNJIIIIIII!"_

This wasn't why Asuka was screaming though.

* * *

"Excuse me!"

The 14th Angel turned, scanning for the source of the noise. It settled upon a Lillim standing before it, staring up at it. It's senses told it that there was something off about the young Lillim before it...

"Excuse me! Please! I would like to talk to you!" It shouted. Zeruel was mildly surprised it could communicate with it, to the point Zereul understood it, but decided that it was probably just another Lillim trick. They were fond of those.

"Look, can you please just talk to me?" It called. "I would really appreciate it if you-"

Having made up it's mind, Zeruel unleashed a blast of it's power, wiping out the Lillim. Overkill was not a concept it was familiar with-The Lillim was dealt with, what more was needed.

Zeruel turned to move onto the Lillim center, and retrieve the All-Father... When an unknown force gripped it, freezing it in mid-air. It was then hurled up at the ceiling of the Geofront, smashed headfirst into the layers of armor. Zeruel had no time to recover before it was being slammed into the ground, and then the far wall of the great chasm, and then back into the ceiling, down to the ground, until finally, as though a great hand were grasped around it's head, it was dragged over the desolated ground back to where the Lillim had...

_Was_ standing. Unharmed.

Said Lillim now looked angry. _Felt_ angry, as though it had made it's rage into a tangible force. Not like it's Inner Light, no-Something greater.

The Lillim walked up to it's skull-like face, and took hold of it. Impossibly, the tiny Lillim's hand gripped Zeruel's face hard enough to hurt, and just as impossibly, yanked the 14th Angel up so it could stare into the Lillim's eyes.

A terrifying power was in those eyes and Zeruel wished it didn't have the senses to experience it on more than one dimensional level.

"All right... We'll do it _your_ way," the Lillim snarled.

* * *

Rei Ayanami blinked. She blinked in rapid succession. On any other person, this would be the equivalent of her jaw dropping to the floor, such was her disbelief and shock.

_Ikari... He is..._

He was slamming the 14th Angel, a being at least fifty thousand times his mass, with more destructive power than even the combined might of the Evangelions, into the ground repeatedly as though it was a rag doll.

She had heard the Third Child was delusional. Seen him perform impossible feats, all thanks to a "God" he said he was acting on behalf of. Defying the Commander.

Impossible. All impossible.

And yet, here she was. Here they were. Watching Ikari... _Shinji_ beat the crap out of the strongest Angel without any visible effort.

_With his bare hands._

She felt herself grow extremely warm inside, though wasn't sure why.

"... Is this real?" She found herself asking softly, cautiously.

"Oh yes," said Major Katsuragi's penguin, as he sat next to her with a smile and a beer, "it definitely is."

Rei turned and stared at the penguin. The penguin stared back.

"... God?" She asked.

"You know it."

* * *

"All right," Shinji said, bringing the Angel face to face with him. He glared death into it's eyes. "Here's what's going to happen. You are going to fix everything you broke. You are going to apologize to everyone you hurt, especially Asuka and Rei. And finally, when you are _done_, you will go to Heaven and write _'I will not pick on beings smaller than me ever again'_, in one _thousand_ meter tall letters, five hundred _billion_ times. Got it?"

Zeruel, the Fourteenth Angel, the Angel of Might, the strongest of Adam's Children in sheer physical power... Whimpered, and nodded.

"Good," Shinji growled. "Get to work."

With another whimper, the Angel flew off and with it's paper-like arms began to collect damage and debris. Shinji nodded, and crossed his arms over his chest with a smile.

Sure, it had been a little difficult, but Angels could be reasonable if given enough incentive.

* * *

The sound of chugging could be heard in Central Dogma. Misato managed to tear her eyes away from the impossible sight on the holoscreens to the source.

Somehow, she wasn't entirely surprised the Commander had bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey squirreled away. She was, however, surprised he had a_ dozen bottles_ of the stuff within reach.

Scratch that, ten bottles.

"You may as well grab a bottle while you can," Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki said, as he too began drinking. Misato looked back at the screen, and nodded.

"Good idea."

* * *

Asuka slowly brought Unit 02 to lay down in front of Shinji, face planted into the ground as though in reverence. Asuka had done it just so she could get out of her entry plug without trouble. Once out, she very calmly walked down off her Eva, and across the dusty ground towards Shinji.

He looked over at her with a smile, a smile she had always found cute. Endearing. Things to be denied vehemently.

Right now though, that didn't matter.

"Asuka, I'm glad you're all right," he said. "Sorry about your Eva... I know it's important to you."

Asuka nodded as though she understood him. She stared for a few silent seconds, the last bits of her resistance launching a valiant struggle... But one look at the Angel of Might cleaning up it's mess behind him ended it.

She reached up to her wrist, hit the release button for her plugsuit, and allowed it to slip off her naked body. Shinji's face turned red.

"Asuka, wha-MMPH?"

Asuka could barely notice anything outside Shinji's warm, firm body, but she did manage to notice Rei consulting with PenPen nearby. After a few moments, she too stripped out of her Plugsuit and joined in.

And that was... Well... That was just fine by Asuka.

* * *

God chuckled as His Emissary began to respond in kind to the advances of his fellow pilots, and looked over at the chastened 14th Angel. He smiled, and raised a bottle of booze in toast.

"Now this... Is what I call a good day," God said. And it was so.


	7. Where in the World Is Gendo Ikari?

Spare Parts

_By Andrew J. Talon_

Disclaimer: _Neon Genesis Evangelion is not my property, it is owned by Gainax. I am not making profit off this story. In short, please don't sue._

Author's Note:

_Based on an idea by Watashiwa on The Fanfiction Forum. Here's the summary:_

_This story starts about five minutes before EoE devolves into mindfuckery. Shinji gets Unit 01 off of its ass in time to see the MP series regenerate, and since he's the actual target, they start fighting. Shinji beats them down, then does it again until they stop regenerating._

_But that doesn't matter because it's not important. In Terminal Dogma, Rei and Gendo are having their last conversation, except this time, when Gendo tries to stick his hand in her she bitch slaps him so hard he goes flying, then takes off. At this point, Gendo realizes that he is screwed and does the smart thing and gets out of the country._

_So the day is saved, thanks to Super Shinji and WHAT THE HELL THAT IS AN ANGEL._

_Turns out that there are FAR more than 17 Angels. There are as many Angels as there are ideas for them to personify, and then some repeats. Worst of all, more will be created over time as long as Adam exists. The only way to stop the Angels is to put Adam back to sleep._

_So NERV restructures. Their primary goal is to stop the Angels, by fielding Unit 01 in Tokyo 3. Meanwhile, Rei Ayanami (who can track Adam) and Asuka Langley Soryu (language experience, culture expert (yeah right!) and combat expertise) travel from country to country to discover...where in the world is Gendo Ikari?_

_I see this as a lighhearted story with a darker premise-as time goes on, the Angels are get stronger to the point where they can steamroll Tokyo 3, but Shinji is basically one-shotting Angel after Angel. In the meantime, Rei and Asuka are up to some wacky Carmen Sandiego inspired adventures while chasing Gendo. Gendo for his part is desperate to stay ahead of the girls, losing himself to Adam's influence and thinking up ways to set off another controlled Third Impact. Oh, and he's creating artificial Angels out of landmarks and national treasures. Asuka and Rei vs. the Eiffel Tower, anyone?_

* * *

"Pilot Soryu, are we not supposed to be investigating right now?" Rei asked. Asuka snorted at her partner across the cafe table, the sounds of French and beeping motorcars filling the air.

"Honestly First, haven't you ever heard of reconaissance?" Asuka asked, sipping her coffee. "We're scoping things out and looking for leads as to that Bastard's whereabouts. Don't you know anything?"

"We have, in order, visited the Louvre, the Château de Versailles, the waxworks, the Arc de Triomphe, the Parc Asterix-"

"All tracking Gendo! Honestly Ayanami, let me handle the thinking will you?" She sipped her coffee. "Mmm, real coffee at last..."

"I believe you are merely vacationing," Rei accused her partner. Asuka huffed.

"I am not! This is important work!"

"We spent five hours shopping," Rei deadpanned.

"Necessary equipment! After all, we need to look our best... Speaking of which," Asuka said with an evil smirk. "Time for your makeover and _your_shopping."

Rei's gaze hardened. "I do not see how we will locate the former Commander in several women's boutiques."

"Then you obviously have a very limited imagination," Asuka huffed. "Besides..." She smirked. "You'll get to dress up for Shinji~..."

Rei was silent for a time. "..."

"And the Bastard King never did let you dress up nice or go shopping for yourself, did he?"

"... Perhaps... It would be worthwhile," Rei allowed. Asuka grinned and grabbed her fellow pilot.

"_Vunderbar!_We'll make a real girl out of you yet, First! Now come on, I think you'll look great in red!"

"I dislike red."

"So? Doesn't mean you can't look good!"

Rei sighed. While she did wish to capture Gendo and bring him back... Perhaps she should accept the fact that she had indeed missed out on a lot of things. And at least the Second Child... Asuka... Was being nice.

Though she did doubt that she'd find the former-Commander around here. What would he be doing in a woman's boutique? The most wanted man alive?

* * *

"Ah, your cuticles are simply horrible, Monsieur!" The stylist cried. "Do not worry, this is my specialty-"

"Ah choo."

"Bless you! Are you coming down with a cold, Monsieur?"

"No. It is a superstition back in my homeland that someone is talking about you when you sneeze. Ah choo."

"Oh ho! Many beautiful women no doubt wailing at your loss, oui?"

Gendo Ikari allowed himself a self-indulgent smile. "Something like that..."

* * *

Meanwhile, in Tokyo-3...

"BEHOLD YOUR DOOM! THE ANGEL... OF YOUTH! I BURN WITH IT'S POWER!" Bellowed a green and black angel with orange legs.

"... You've gotta be kidding me," Shinji muttered.

"Relax Shinji," Ritsuko purred. After his prevention of Third Impact, Shinji was the most powerful man on Earth-And she _liked_power. "Defeat it, and Maya and I will give you a sponge bath to celebrate~..."

"Would you stop that you shameless shotacon!" Misato growled. Ritsuko eyed her.

"'We'll do the rest later'?"

Misato blushed furiously.

"Th-That's DIFFERENT!"

"Surrre it is," Ritsuko drawled.

In Unit 01, Shinji blushed furiously. It seemed he couldn't catch a break-Only in the place of his father manipulating him to destroy the human race and having to fight monsters to save it... He had _women_after him as he fought monsters to save the human race.

"BEHOLD, THE POWER OF YOUTH WILL ENSURE ANGELIC VICTORY OVER YOU, MY WORTHY-!"

_KABOOM!_

"Whatever," Shinji muttered.


End file.
